Teaching and Prayer

Parenting is more than managing behavior; it’s about shaping the heart. Last time, we explored how teaching honor helps children move beyond simple obedience to actively contributing to their families. But instilling honor—or any virtue—requires more than just telling kids what to do. It involves showing them how and equipping them with tools for success. That’s where teaching and prayer come together.

Teaching provides the practical steps children need to grow. Prayer invites God into the process, trusting Him to do the deep work. In this post, I’ll introduce a simple yet powerful tool called the T Chart that helps children take ownership of their own growth. We’ll also explore how prayer and spiritual training infuse grace into the process, so kids aren’t just trying to “be good” in their own strength.

Let’s dive in!

Why Teaching Alone Isn’t Enough

Imagine this: Your child is getting frustrated with their younger sibling. You remind them, “You need to be more patient.” But instead of calming down, they get even more upset. Sound familiar?

Too often, we give commands without providing strategies for success. When a child struggles with patience, self-control, or kindness, they can feel stuck—trapped in a pit with no way out.

That’s why teaching is crucial. It acts as the ladder that helps them climb out of that pit. But here’s the key: long lectures don’t work. Instead of a long explanation, try something short and direct:

• “I see you’re getting frustrated with your little brother. What’s one thing you can do right now to stay calm?”
• “I noticed you used a kind voice just now instead of snapping. What helped you do that?”

These questions help kids connect their behavior to actionable steps instead of expecting them to figure it out on their own.

The T Chart: A Tool for Practical Growth

Children need a concrete way to practice making better choices. That’s where the T Chart comes in. Life is full of challenges, and our children need tools to navigate them—whether it’s learning patience, handling frustration, or staying respectful under pressure.

How to Use the T Chart

1. Write the child’s name and their specific struggle at the top.

• Example: “Sally’s Plan for Handling Frustration”

1. Divide the paper into two columns.
2. The left side is for the child’s ideas.

• Encourage them to write 3-5 actions they can take when they face this struggle.
• Example:
• Take a deep breath before reacting.
• Walk away for a minute before speaking.
• Think of something positive about the situation.

1. The right side is for parent suggestions.

• Example:
• Count to five before responding.
• Ask, “What’s the best way to solve this?”

As children grow and face new challenges, their T Chart can be updated or revised to reflect their progress. Instead of repeating the same old lecture, you can say: “Go get your T Chart. What could you do differently next time?” This keeps the responsibility on them—helping them own their growth.

The Role of Prayer: Leaning into Grace

We can give our kids tools, but God is the one who changes hearts. This is where we lean into grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says:

Grace is the strength God gives us to meet challenges. Prayer is how we access that strength. Instead of making kids feel like God is watching to punish them, we want to remind them that He is a loving Father who walks with them.

Ways to Integrate Prayer into Teaching

1. Pray before difficult moments. “Lord, help us stay calm and kind today.”
2. Pray after struggles. “God, please help us learn from this challenge.”
3. Pray with gratitude. “Thank You, Lord, for helping us grow!”

Instead of saying, “God doesn’t like when you do that,” say:

• “God is with you, even when you struggle.”
• “He wants to help you.”

When your child makes a good choice, ask:

• “What was your secret to handling that well?”
• If they don’t know, suggest: “Maybe you thought, ‘I can handle this with God’s help.’”

Additional Bible Verses to Encourage Growth

• James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (Encourages children to seek God’s wisdom in their struggles.)
• Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Teaches reliance on God for guidance.)
• Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Reinforces perseverance through God’s strength.)

Final Takeaway: Tough Moments Are Training Moments

Every challenge your child faces is an opportunity to learn, grow, and lean on God’s grace. Here’s my challenge for you:

1. Pick one struggle your child is facing.
2. Create a T Chart with them. Keep it simple.
3. Pray with them about it.
4. Encourage them as they try.
5. Reflect and adjust the chart as needed.

God is already working in your child’s heart. Keep teaching, keep praying, and trust Him with the results.

If you need more guidance, I’d love to help. Download my free resource, 10 Steps to Nurturing Your Child’s Heart, for practical steps to implement heart-based parenting in your home: Visit my website at scriptureguidedparenting.com or email me at podcast@scriptureguidedparenting.com.

Let’s walk this journey together! For more biblical parenting insights, subscribe to my podcast Raising Hearts for Christ, and join our community in the Christian Parenting: Tips for Faith and Family Life Facebook group.

Train. Trust. Transform. Let’s raise children whose hearts beat for Christ!